I have been on the most elaborate, whimsical, planned and off-the-cuff dates this year. I’m talking Taylor Swift album six worthy dates. It’s something I truly didn’t expect. Something you probably don’t expect is that the dates were shared with my closest girlfriends. No boys allowed.

Yes we are twenty-somethings and are ready to mingle, but why wait for someone to ask us out when we can plan the whole shebang ourselves? Our brilliant trio-mind orchestrates the most creative ideas so when the three of us are out together we often ask if it’s even real. Are we really having high tea in Atlanta after giggling in a park for hours? Surely there’s a camera crew here or something. Nope, no cameras. Just us. Just our fabulousness.

When we are together we are such an unbreakable band of brothers, er, sisters, and we live with no reservations, awkwardness or disappointments. The pressure to go out with a guy has faded with the excitement to be reunited with my gang. It may sound counterintuitive for someone who doesn’t see herself as single forever but it’s been the best possible use of my time and I wouldn’t trade a second of it.

And there are no rules. I don’t have to wait to text anyone or wonder why they aren’t calling me. I just call. I am more me and I learn to be more normal when I don’t feel like I have to put on a show. I have learned what it means to feel comfortable in my own skin without the pressure to perform.

Boyfriends have started to enter our little group and date nights sometimes take the first chair in our once all-lady orchestra. And that’s ok. I am by no means opposed to a dinner with a view tucked behind a marina with a persistent and intriguing fellow. But when the guy-dates do happen it isn’t about the fanfare, the location and the topics as much as it is about getting to know the person. The three of us have walked down the streets of Nashville, crashed at a mansion in Daytona and floated across a lake chatting about all things under the sun. Throw in a guy instead of one of my girlfriends and the shock that an adventure is actually happening subsides and the true ability to enjoy the moment and engage in better conversation deepens. And of course the best part comes after a date when your clan of eager beavers is waiting to micro-analyze every detail.

The point? My girlfriends taught me how to date. Guys won’t teach you how to date.

When you go on dates with your girlfriends you aren’t as impressed when a guy does the same thing. You already know it can be done and sometimes you realize you do it even better (that’s when you walk away). You won’t be in such a fog by his charm (or non-charm) when you already know what kind of pure fun is possible to be had.

Call us what you want. Tag us with whatever sexual orientation comes to mind. We know who we are and that’s what makes this so much fun and so liberating.

So say yes to that date, or heck, plan it yourself. Home alone tonight? Invite your closest girlfriends and share with the world how a night under the stars with a glass of red doesn’t have to just be reserved for a dude.

“Baby we’re the new romantics//The best people in life are free.” -Taylor Swift